These humans think I'm so lazy. All they've seen me do is sleep. They don't know about my time serving in the Chinese military under Chairman Meow. I was a lean, mean, mouse obliterating machine. Shame there's no mice around here.

I've been pondering some larger questions these days. Larger than … say … "Where is that smell coming from?" or "Why does that itch? Didn't I just clean that a minute ago? Why would it itch now?" No, I find that, in my older age, my mind scampers down a hall toward loftier notions. I am kept awake by the kinds of things that lead me to stare out a window for hours at a time. Not staring, completely, of course, since my eyes do eventually shut, and I'm not actually kept awake, but, ... more...